Charcuterie & Community

One thing I love about myself is the ever-present duality of my nature. It is exists within us all, but I am particularly fond of the dance between the polarities that are at play within me. This is something I’ll be exploring in my writing more as I experiment with it in my own life. Why I mention it today is to discuss the topic of friendships, relationships, and community. I am both devastated and beyond excited to learn that folks all around me, especially women, are struck by loneliness.

I’m devastated as someone who suffers from loneliness on the behalf of others because it’s painful. I’m beyond excited because I thought I was the only one at least in my immediate circle who felt this way, and with that felt it was impossible to overcome. There must be something missing inside of me for me to be the only one who feels this way, I thought. It’s funny how this works— how is it that so many of us are lonely and yet long for connection? Wouldn’t it be easy if all of us lonelies just got together and became friends?

My loneliness stems from childhood. I’m a single child who always longed for siblings— at least one. I had deep trauma and trust-related wounds that carried me into adulthood, where I lost myself in a toxic relationship. I emerged from there like a phoenix from the ashes and cut out all the bullshit from my life. All this to say, I dropped many friendships and it was an extremely lonely process waking up to my own self and life.

I’ve struggled since to pick up the pieces of my community in particular. I never really felt like I fit in, was bullied growing up, and only attracted experiences that would reinforce my core wound belief, “I’m not lovable.” I can’t say I’ve completely figured it out yet, but I can say that it’s been worth it to intentionally choose my friendships from here on out.

All this to say, I attended a lovely community building event recently and got together with my book club the same week. My amazing friend has a gift for bringing people together and has created The Cove in an effort to foster meaningful connections. At her event, we made charcuterie boards to take home and were given a set of questions to ask each other during the process. The goal was to make new friends, have deep conversations, and get creative with food! I had the best time.

Meanwhile, my book club and I each made a dish for our meet up. I brought a Greek salad and dessert, and we discussed our most recent book, Julia Fox’s Down the Drain. We chatted over wine and delicious bites and decided on our next book, Communion by Bell Hooks. Turns out we’re all craving a bit more connection, and we’re on a mission to do something about it.

Moments like these inspire me to keep meeting new people and remind me to be grateful for those in my life. I love my journey of cultivating community, and the journey is what it’s all about.